Drillbit Taylor

July 15, 2009 at 9:00 pm | Posted in movies | 2 Comments

Drillbit Taylor: So what’d you do to provoke him?
Wade: Well he’s fat, he’s a dork, and I’m awesome.
Drillbit Taylor: And by awesome, you mean scared, skinny, and lonely?
Wade: … Yeah.

Drillbit Taylor
DVD Wednesday – July 15, 2009

Normally, Organized Confusion will not waste the precious time of its readers with movies that are going to stink up the place. However, an exception was recently made for Drillbit Taylor.  This film was given the large benefit of the doubt on behalf of its main star Owen Wilson, whose work thus far has impressed mainly due to his noteworthy contribution to the Wes Anderson empire. The dubious irony of the movie poster’s tagline “You get what you pay for” is just too sweet to pass by. Luckily, I had the good fortune of borrowing this film from a friend, leaving the satisfaction of not patronizing this horrible waste of time and talent.

I mean, come on! Really? Three high school kids hire a bodyguard to protect them from a bully? Growing up with such classics as Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, and even Pretty in Pink, the standard for high school comedy has admittedly been set pretty high. Even on the heels of Superbad, we now led to believe that what? Any pathetic geek is funny?? It’s just not the case. I felt nothing for these kids, especially not in the stupid and gullible way that Drillbit Taylor took them for. As for complete lack of character development, nowhere was it more prevalent than in the main character himself. It’s hard to know whose to blame here: the writing (*gasp* Seth Rogen could not be responsible for this tripe!), the direction of Steven Brill (responsible for the Mighty Ducks trilogy), or the fact that Wilson is clearly just phoning it in. At least in You, Me, and Dupree, there was a lovable oafishness to Wilson’s character that made him endearing enough to root for in the end. I constantly found myself in a state of apathy toward the direction of this movie. So much so that I can’t even recall the ending. This must have been the year that Luke and Owen got so sick of each other that one went off to do Henry Poole is Here and the other resorted to this script. Lesson learned: stick to what works, boys. Meh, better luck next time… Nice Stephen Root cameo though.

RATING:  (with a sound effect accompaniment. Pbbbbbb!)
Not Recommended. Period.